I am apparently really bad at keeping on topic with my other blog. That is to say, I'm bad at keeping it as a blog that documents my life as it pertains to trying to break into the world of comedy, acting, and/or entertaining. I think it's got a bigger audience than this one (twice the number of Blogger.com followers as this one...both in single digits. Baller-status), so I tend to write things in there that belong in this blog. This one is supposed to be my musings on life. So that's what this is gonna be.
I read an article last week, sent to me by my friend Jen (over at http://jenniterjackon.wordpress.com) and written by Ricky Gervais about how he doesn't believe in God. Not a matter of not believing, but more matter-of-factly stating that there isn't a god. I'll get back to this in a moment.
Upon leaving home after Christmas I brought a few books back with me, two of which are nonfiction short-story collections from college. One of which has a couple written by a professor I had, but that's not the point. The point is that I just picked a random story and read it. It was basically about the writer abandoning faith in religion and how it crushed her mother but made her feel a better understanding of the world.
It's pretty clear that religion has a huge hold on American society, as well as it does the rest of the world. I'm not interested in debating the merits of religion, those of you who know me know that I'm not a church-goer and don't really care either way if you are, so don't bother thinking about that.
Instead, think about how many articles and books you've heard of in the realm of popular writing, whatever that means to you. A decent amount of books, it can be argued, are either straightforward books about religion (see: the always-massive religion section at bookstores) or thinly veiled books about religion (see: Narnia and the like). Religious writing is generally a big deal; if it is well written, it becomes an important piece of religious literature (again, go to the religion section and look at how they've all won awards).
So on the flip side, why is it always note-worthy when someone writes about a disbelief in God/religion?
I don't have an answer for this but it's endlessly fascinating. Some of the greatest minds in our world right now do not believe in a god or gods. When they write about it, it's gripping. Is it possible that, if they wrote it well-enough, someone could write a novel where the entire point is that there is no god, and this becomes a best-seller - changing the way a reading population views religion?
It's surely been tried, make no mistake of that, but is it possible in a society that is so dependent on religion?
Makes you wonder, right?
Note: I've mentioned before that I have something in mind when I start writing and invariably end up off-topic. This was on-topic, but oh my god...I can't believe how far awry this idea went. I had some really poignant things that I wanted to put in here and virtually none of them made it and now I can't make room for them/remember what they were. Curse you, writing.
Monday, December 27, 2010
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Twitter(o) Killed the Blog(eo) Star
How weird is it to title a blog post after something that is effectively eliminating my post frequency? (not to mention reaching really hard for a Buggles reference)
On a scale of 1-this picture, it's solidly in the Ricky Williams wearing a wedding dress range.
But how did this happen? I originally resisted Twitter...what changed?
Shaq came to Cleveland. That's what changed.
I got on Twitter because I had heard that Shaq would do silly things like give out tickets to fans who found him based on his tweets. I heard he did this kind of thing on a semi-regular basis and I thought it was awesome. Once he was traded to the Cavaliers, I caved. I wanted the chance to be a part of that kind of tomfoolery.
Something happened in the months that followed...I started enjoying the process of tweeting.
It becomes a challenge for me to try to not say incredibly mundane things - or at least not most of the time. I try to be entertaining, although I try to do so without copying anyone else's jokes/style/premises.
As a result of all this, I now tweet a veritable crapload of times per day (I'm guessing close to 10, I don't want to look and find out it's way more than that) about things that I hope other people find interesting. This has killed my blogging.
After spending my entire life being overly wordy and descriptive about everything, Twitter has afforded me the challenge of trying to condense my thoughts into 140 characters despite my habit of using roughly 140 characters in a standard sentence...I've never been a fan of that subject/verb/object/punctuation simplistic bullshit.
I guess the point I'm trying to make is that Twitter is a new release for my random thoughts. Instead of expounding on them in a blog entry, I've taken to shrinking them for tweets. It's not good or bad, it just is at this point.
As it stands, Twitter is the sexy mistress to my mildly attractive blog-wife. It's the Sandra Bullock to my tattooed wench.
Wait, what? He was married to Sandra Bullock and banged that fuh-reak?? Is he retarded?? Am I missing something here? Cheated on her (who looks good in nothing-special-about-that-picture pictures) with her. That's a real picture, folks. Seriously, even if you don't click any of the other links here, do that one. It's eye-opening.
Now that, my friends, makes you wonder...
On a scale of 1-this picture, it's solidly in the Ricky Williams wearing a wedding dress range.
But how did this happen? I originally resisted Twitter...what changed?
Shaq came to Cleveland. That's what changed.
I got on Twitter because I had heard that Shaq would do silly things like give out tickets to fans who found him based on his tweets. I heard he did this kind of thing on a semi-regular basis and I thought it was awesome. Once he was traded to the Cavaliers, I caved. I wanted the chance to be a part of that kind of tomfoolery.
Something happened in the months that followed...I started enjoying the process of tweeting.
It becomes a challenge for me to try to not say incredibly mundane things - or at least not most of the time. I try to be entertaining, although I try to do so without copying anyone else's jokes/style/premises.
As a result of all this, I now tweet a veritable crapload of times per day (I'm guessing close to 10, I don't want to look and find out it's way more than that) about things that I hope other people find interesting. This has killed my blogging.
After spending my entire life being overly wordy and descriptive about everything, Twitter has afforded me the challenge of trying to condense my thoughts into 140 characters despite my habit of using roughly 140 characters in a standard sentence...I've never been a fan of that subject/verb/object/punctuation simplistic bullshit.
I guess the point I'm trying to make is that Twitter is a new release for my random thoughts. Instead of expounding on them in a blog entry, I've taken to shrinking them for tweets. It's not good or bad, it just is at this point.
As it stands, Twitter is the sexy mistress to my mildly attractive blog-wife. It's the Sandra Bullock to my tattooed wench.
Wait, what? He was married to Sandra Bullock and banged that fuh-reak?? Is he retarded?? Am I missing something here? Cheated on her (who looks good in nothing-special-about-that-picture pictures) with her. That's a real picture, folks. Seriously, even if you don't click any of the other links here, do that one. It's eye-opening.
Now that, my friends, makes you wonder...
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
A Moment Like This
Anytime you can title a blog-post with a Kelly Clarkson song title, it's a good sign. Bonus points when it's actually what you're writing about, too.
The concept is the perfect moment; have you had one?
You might not remember if you have. You might remember having it, but you might not remember who else was involved. You might even remember the situation and how good it felt, but the details are all fuzzy.
Here's my quick explanation of a fictional perfect moment. (please note, fictional)
It's been a bad day. I slept awfully and had to wake up early for something that I didn't want to do. I spent the day with a crippling headache while dealing with problems that were way over my head. Blah blah blah, a bad day.
Then, by chance, I see a girl who is a very good friend.
She walks right up to me and doesn't say hello. She looks at me as she's walking and says "You look like you could use a hug," and proceeds to give the best hug ever.
In the five seconds of hug, all of the problems somehow melt away. Nothing seems important, it just feels incredible to be held by someone and know that they're not letting go until I let go. It's comforting, it's emotionally relieving, it's beautiful. As my mind races a million miles an hour I realize that I'm not in love with the girl, I'm in love with the moment she has provided me.
In this one simple moment that may have meant absolutely nothing to her, my entire mood, day, and emotional stability changed for the better.
How?
...makes you wonder, right?
Also, it doesn't necessarily have to be a hug, that would just be one of the best ways for me to experience it. Another easy way that this moment could happen would be like a commercial: someone inexplicably and unprompted does something nice for you - gives a compliment when you didn't expect it, picks up your tab at dinner, etc.
Incidentally, I remember that happening once a long time ago. I remember someone explaining this concept to me (not quite as wordy or in-depth) even before that, and then thinking about it when I first experienced it. I also know that it has happened at least one other time, but I can't remember what it was...which is odd. It's very thought-provoking in concept and in practice.
The concept is the perfect moment; have you had one?
You might not remember if you have. You might remember having it, but you might not remember who else was involved. You might even remember the situation and how good it felt, but the details are all fuzzy.
Here's my quick explanation of a fictional perfect moment. (please note, fictional)
It's been a bad day. I slept awfully and had to wake up early for something that I didn't want to do. I spent the day with a crippling headache while dealing with problems that were way over my head. Blah blah blah, a bad day.
Then, by chance, I see a girl who is a very good friend.
She walks right up to me and doesn't say hello. She looks at me as she's walking and says "You look like you could use a hug," and proceeds to give the best hug ever.
In the five seconds of hug, all of the problems somehow melt away. Nothing seems important, it just feels incredible to be held by someone and know that they're not letting go until I let go. It's comforting, it's emotionally relieving, it's beautiful. As my mind races a million miles an hour I realize that I'm not in love with the girl, I'm in love with the moment she has provided me.
In this one simple moment that may have meant absolutely nothing to her, my entire mood, day, and emotional stability changed for the better.
How?
...makes you wonder, right?
Also, it doesn't necessarily have to be a hug, that would just be one of the best ways for me to experience it. Another easy way that this moment could happen would be like a commercial: someone inexplicably and unprompted does something nice for you - gives a compliment when you didn't expect it, picks up your tab at dinner, etc.
Incidentally, I remember that happening once a long time ago. I remember someone explaining this concept to me (not quite as wordy or in-depth) even before that, and then thinking about it when I first experienced it. I also know that it has happened at least one other time, but I can't remember what it was...which is odd. It's very thought-provoking in concept and in practice.
Thursday, December 03, 2009
I feel like writing
So don't bother trying to stop me.
I've been thinking about life a lot lately, partly because I don't have a job. By partly, of course, I mean mostly.
Anyway, I've seen some people lately that I hadn't seen in a while, people from various walks of life. Family, friends, siblings of friends, friends of siblings, and so on.
What strikes me is that it's a strange feeling when you realize that you think of someone in a different way than they think of you. For instance, if you were dumped and refuse to accept it, it's a very different relationship from the two sides. If you broke up with someone, but both understood the situation, then that's fine. It's the same situation, but when the points of view are skewed from a central theme, things get screwy.
Recently I ran into someone who I haven't actually talked to in a couple of years. He's a good kid, and will remain completely anonymous throughout this, and I hope neither of the 2 of you who read this will waste much time trying to figure out who it is (there are a couple people who fit the mold, so it's not worth agonizing over). I spoke with him not too long ago. I realized during our conversation that I felt like he had taken a younger-brother role in my life - I have no younger brothers, so it's logical for me - but it seemed pretty clear that he saw me somewhat differently. I'm not sure it was just as a friend, or if it was as someone from his past who he thought fondly of but didn't care much about, or if it was as a family friend...but I am pretty darn sure that he did not think of me as an older brother figure.
I'm not broken up about this incident. I'm not pouting about it or anything of that sort.
But for some reason it has stuck with me and made me wonder how people evaluate relationships through different lenses (so to speak).
It's not the same as liking someone who dislikes you - that's often a lack of communication or the lack of wanting to tell someone off. It's just a strange feeling: we've had the same experiences with each other, but the interactions seem to have had a more profound effect on me than they have on him.
The funny thing is that I'd love to pull him aside and explain all of this, but I don't think it would work on account of: A) not knowing if/when we'll cross paths again, 2) it wouldn't make a lot of sense to him, especially if my hunch regarding his emotions was accurate, and C) let's say he suddenly gets it and breaks down into tears...then what? Perhaps it would turn out really well, perhaps not.
I don't know how all this sounds, but I sort of don't really care. I just wonder about it in general...which ties into the title of this blog.
That thought didn't run quite as long as I expected, but that's OK. I was also thinking about mortality a bit earlier; partly due to the cancer scare my grandfather just had, and partly due to the fact that life and death are kind of a hand-in-hand thing...think about one and you'll inevitably think about the other.
As the saying goes; it's a simple choice...get busy living, or get busy dying.
What will you make of the one wild and precious life you've been given?
You only get one shot at it.
Just stop and think about that for a few minutes.
It is wild. It is precious. Think about the incredible things that have happened to you today. As simple as waking up and seeing the rain fall down today...there are people who can't do that. What you experience on a crappy day could be the most incredible experience of someone else's life.
I'm in a very "don't forget how lucky you are" mood.
I want to get up in front of a crowd and tell people this.
This is part of why I want to be famous. Imagine if a simple lesson like this were read by more than just the 10 or 15 people I might be able to sucker into reading this. What if I had 3,000,000 followers on Twitter and 10% of them read this? Of those 10%, if 1% of those read it and thought "wow...I'm lucky. Life is good. I want to share the literal or metaphorical wealth I've been given with someone," then I'd be thrilled.
But I have a small audience. For now.
Two special shout-outs at the end of this post. First is Lou Cirino, I know you google your name now and then, and this post is partially on account of you. I was thinking about this kind of stuff before you let me borrow "The Winners Manual," and now that I'm reading it, it's just making me want to sit down and write these things. So that's what I'm doing.
Second is tricky: I'm calling myself out. Not a shout-out, per se. I'm calling myself out to get the ball rolling a little faster. I need to stop accepting it if something doesn't go my way. I need to better myself. I can control that. It's not that hard.
Can I just please be famous already?
Someone hire me for a motivational speech.
Especially if you throw out the beginning half of this post.
I'm done now.
I've been thinking about life a lot lately, partly because I don't have a job. By partly, of course, I mean mostly.
Anyway, I've seen some people lately that I hadn't seen in a while, people from various walks of life. Family, friends, siblings of friends, friends of siblings, and so on.
What strikes me is that it's a strange feeling when you realize that you think of someone in a different way than they think of you. For instance, if you were dumped and refuse to accept it, it's a very different relationship from the two sides. If you broke up with someone, but both understood the situation, then that's fine. It's the same situation, but when the points of view are skewed from a central theme, things get screwy.
Recently I ran into someone who I haven't actually talked to in a couple of years. He's a good kid, and will remain completely anonymous throughout this, and I hope neither of the 2 of you who read this will waste much time trying to figure out who it is (there are a couple people who fit the mold, so it's not worth agonizing over). I spoke with him not too long ago. I realized during our conversation that I felt like he had taken a younger-brother role in my life - I have no younger brothers, so it's logical for me - but it seemed pretty clear that he saw me somewhat differently. I'm not sure it was just as a friend, or if it was as someone from his past who he thought fondly of but didn't care much about, or if it was as a family friend...but I am pretty darn sure that he did not think of me as an older brother figure.
I'm not broken up about this incident. I'm not pouting about it or anything of that sort.
But for some reason it has stuck with me and made me wonder how people evaluate relationships through different lenses (so to speak).
It's not the same as liking someone who dislikes you - that's often a lack of communication or the lack of wanting to tell someone off. It's just a strange feeling: we've had the same experiences with each other, but the interactions seem to have had a more profound effect on me than they have on him.
The funny thing is that I'd love to pull him aside and explain all of this, but I don't think it would work on account of: A) not knowing if/when we'll cross paths again, 2) it wouldn't make a lot of sense to him, especially if my hunch regarding his emotions was accurate, and C) let's say he suddenly gets it and breaks down into tears...then what? Perhaps it would turn out really well, perhaps not.
I don't know how all this sounds, but I sort of don't really care. I just wonder about it in general...which ties into the title of this blog.
That thought didn't run quite as long as I expected, but that's OK. I was also thinking about mortality a bit earlier; partly due to the cancer scare my grandfather just had, and partly due to the fact that life and death are kind of a hand-in-hand thing...think about one and you'll inevitably think about the other.
As the saying goes; it's a simple choice...get busy living, or get busy dying.
What will you make of the one wild and precious life you've been given?
You only get one shot at it.
Just stop and think about that for a few minutes.
It is wild. It is precious. Think about the incredible things that have happened to you today. As simple as waking up and seeing the rain fall down today...there are people who can't do that. What you experience on a crappy day could be the most incredible experience of someone else's life.
I'm in a very "don't forget how lucky you are" mood.
I want to get up in front of a crowd and tell people this.
This is part of why I want to be famous. Imagine if a simple lesson like this were read by more than just the 10 or 15 people I might be able to sucker into reading this. What if I had 3,000,000 followers on Twitter and 10% of them read this? Of those 10%, if 1% of those read it and thought "wow...I'm lucky. Life is good. I want to share the literal or metaphorical wealth I've been given with someone," then I'd be thrilled.
But I have a small audience. For now.
Two special shout-outs at the end of this post. First is Lou Cirino, I know you google your name now and then, and this post is partially on account of you. I was thinking about this kind of stuff before you let me borrow "The Winners Manual," and now that I'm reading it, it's just making me want to sit down and write these things. So that's what I'm doing.
Second is tricky: I'm calling myself out. Not a shout-out, per se. I'm calling myself out to get the ball rolling a little faster. I need to stop accepting it if something doesn't go my way. I need to better myself. I can control that. It's not that hard.
Can I just please be famous already?
Someone hire me for a motivational speech.
Especially if you throw out the beginning half of this post.
I'm done now.
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Yep
There are a couple things that I need to get off my chest. The first is a story that I heard on the radio today.
A woman had sex with a man on Friday night. They used a condom. Apparently the condom broke at some point. The woman didn't seem to elaborate much on whether or not the guy got another one or if he just decided to ignore it and keep going. They stop having sex eventually.
The same woman had sex with a different man Saturday. While having sex, the busted condom from the night before FELL OUT OF HER VAGINA. The man stopped and abruptly left. According to the woman, he's interested in forgiving her and has been calling for the last two days.
The radio host had to say "No...there's no way a man will forget having sex with you and having someone else's condom fall out of your vagina. It's not going to happen. Good luck."
There are certain things that words don't really capture...the pure feeling of disgust that man #2 must have felt is one of those things. I imagine he has not been calling her back, and if he has, it's only because he wants to tell the woman that she's what the French call "A huge f'ing tramp."
Thing number two. I heard on the radio that there's a new dating show starting up on Fox (so you know it's classy) where the contestants are regular-person sized instead of incredibly thin/hot like on most reality shows.
I'm OK with loving who you are, I really am. I think I've even blogged on this subject before, but loving who you are does not make it OK to be unhealthy. If you're fat, it's not good for you. I'm sorry. Again, self-confidence is a good thing, but it's a lot easier to be self-confident if you don't look like the offspring of a giant bowling ball and a whale. If you want to embrace your body and love yourself despite your lack of health, you don't have to love yourself for nearly as long.
This country has made a habit of talking about how body images and eating disorders are such a horrible thing, yet we also have the highest rates of obesity in the world...how can that be? An all-or-nothing country, I suppose, but not really in a good way. If you're a girl and you'll never fit into a size 2, that's OK, but it's not OK to be a size 42. Likewise for guys, it's fine to not wear size 30 waist on a pair of jeans, but don't wear size 50 and embrace your life.
I don't really care if this comes off rude, because maybe some unhealthy people need a kick in the ass to realize that it's not OK. If you're loving yourself despite obesity then you're loving your over-worked heart, your clogged arteries, and your increased likelihood of an early death...sounds like a blast!
A woman had sex with a man on Friday night. They used a condom. Apparently the condom broke at some point. The woman didn't seem to elaborate much on whether or not the guy got another one or if he just decided to ignore it and keep going. They stop having sex eventually.
The same woman had sex with a different man Saturday. While having sex, the busted condom from the night before FELL OUT OF HER VAGINA. The man stopped and abruptly left. According to the woman, he's interested in forgiving her and has been calling for the last two days.
The radio host had to say "No...there's no way a man will forget having sex with you and having someone else's condom fall out of your vagina. It's not going to happen. Good luck."
There are certain things that words don't really capture...the pure feeling of disgust that man #2 must have felt is one of those things. I imagine he has not been calling her back, and if he has, it's only because he wants to tell the woman that she's what the French call "A huge f'ing tramp."
Thing number two. I heard on the radio that there's a new dating show starting up on Fox (so you know it's classy) where the contestants are regular-person sized instead of incredibly thin/hot like on most reality shows.
I'm OK with loving who you are, I really am. I think I've even blogged on this subject before, but loving who you are does not make it OK to be unhealthy. If you're fat, it's not good for you. I'm sorry. Again, self-confidence is a good thing, but it's a lot easier to be self-confident if you don't look like the offspring of a giant bowling ball and a whale. If you want to embrace your body and love yourself despite your lack of health, you don't have to love yourself for nearly as long.
This country has made a habit of talking about how body images and eating disorders are such a horrible thing, yet we also have the highest rates of obesity in the world...how can that be? An all-or-nothing country, I suppose, but not really in a good way. If you're a girl and you'll never fit into a size 2, that's OK, but it's not OK to be a size 42. Likewise for guys, it's fine to not wear size 30 waist on a pair of jeans, but don't wear size 50 and embrace your life.
I don't really care if this comes off rude, because maybe some unhealthy people need a kick in the ass to realize that it's not OK. If you're loving yourself despite obesity then you're loving your over-worked heart, your clogged arteries, and your increased likelihood of an early death...sounds like a blast!
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Jeter Drops pop-up, Blames Fan
Fenway Park, Boston.
A routine infield pop-up in Wednesday night's Red Sox-Yankees game turned anything but routine as perennial All-Star Derek Jeter camped under the ball.
"I was right under it, I was sure I had it," said Jeter afterward. "But that guy in section 448, upper deck, right field corner...he yelled 'Miss it!' and it totally shook me."
It's common practice at ballparks nationwide for fans to try razzing on opposing fielders in hopes that they misplay the ball, but now we have an answer for if it actually works.
When questioned on the subject, Yankee center fielder Johnny Damon responded "Oh hell yeah! I'd say 95% of the balls I miss are because fans shout out for it when I'm about ready to catch it." He then added, "some skeptical fans claim that it doesn't work, but trust me, it does."
The miscue couldn't have come at a worse time for the Yankees; the bases were loaded for the Sox, who were threatening to break the game open.
Making matters worse for the Bombers was the batter - David Ortiz. Ortiz has been in an extended slump for the course of the season, but perhaps no more.
"It wasn't so much the hit that pulled me out of it, it was actually the guy sitting next to the one who psyched out Jeter...as the pitch was coming in he muttered 'please hit the ball,' so that's what I went for," said the slugger in a postgame interview.
Jeter was also thrown off on every other ball hit to him under similar circumstances. "Yeah, someone seemed to say something every time the ball came to me. And the guy yelling 'whiff' every time I swung the bat definitely contributed to my three strikeouts on 9 pitches."
When asked about his 0-3, 3 strikeout hitting performance, Alex Rodriguez responded "Me? No, I didn't hear anyone say anything, I just accidentally changed my calendar to October."
Suck it, Yankees fans.
A routine infield pop-up in Wednesday night's Red Sox-Yankees game turned anything but routine as perennial All-Star Derek Jeter camped under the ball.
"I was right under it, I was sure I had it," said Jeter afterward. "But that guy in section 448, upper deck, right field corner...he yelled 'Miss it!' and it totally shook me."
It's common practice at ballparks nationwide for fans to try razzing on opposing fielders in hopes that they misplay the ball, but now we have an answer for if it actually works.
When questioned on the subject, Yankee center fielder Johnny Damon responded "Oh hell yeah! I'd say 95% of the balls I miss are because fans shout out for it when I'm about ready to catch it." He then added, "some skeptical fans claim that it doesn't work, but trust me, it does."
The miscue couldn't have come at a worse time for the Yankees; the bases were loaded for the Sox, who were threatening to break the game open.
Making matters worse for the Bombers was the batter - David Ortiz. Ortiz has been in an extended slump for the course of the season, but perhaps no more.
"It wasn't so much the hit that pulled me out of it, it was actually the guy sitting next to the one who psyched out Jeter...as the pitch was coming in he muttered 'please hit the ball,' so that's what I went for," said the slugger in a postgame interview.
Jeter was also thrown off on every other ball hit to him under similar circumstances. "Yeah, someone seemed to say something every time the ball came to me. And the guy yelling 'whiff' every time I swung the bat definitely contributed to my three strikeouts on 9 pitches."
When asked about his 0-3, 3 strikeout hitting performance, Alex Rodriguez responded "Me? No, I didn't hear anyone say anything, I just accidentally changed my calendar to October."
Suck it, Yankees fans.
Saturday, June 06, 2009
Stupid iPod
Hey fellas: Been here?
I went to work out a few days ago. Of course I had my iPod (except mine is called the Kevin NyePod) strapped to my lower bicep. It was in such a position that you could see it at the end of the sleeve of my shirt.
I tend to not use the "Hold" button on the Kevin NyePod because I like to leave it on shuffle and this affords me the ability to skip over tracks and change the volume, yada yada yada.
Sometimes I get into a groove and hit a string of songs that mesh together well and thus I don't skip around - makes sense. I like to listen to upbeat music while I'm working out and try to avoid slow songs.
I was sitting down on a bench between sets and just sort of zoning out and looking around. I glanced around and tried to see if I could decipher what album covers I could see on other folks' iPods. Now obviously, I should have been able to see them on everyone's because it's been proven that every college student who owns an iPod downloads exclusively from iTunes and pays the standard price to legally obtain digital music. [citation needed]
However, as I looked around I didn't see much so I went back to my workout.
I was facing hte mirror at this point, sitting down to do a shoulder press and on my second repetition I noticed something: I could see in the mirror that the NyePod was glowing.
Without the "Hold" button on, the pod had taken action and woken up due to the motion of my workout. The backlight went on, the album cover popped up, and it occurred to me what I was listening to...
"7 Things I Hate About You."
I was 2 reps in; now I had to decide whether or not I should put the weight down and finish the set or just ignore it and act like I'm owning my embarassing moment.
Really, it didn't matter what I did...and it won't matter what you do if this happens to you.
Either way, you're a loser.
If you're wondering why I was listening to that song or how it got on the NyePod, you've obviously never heard the song.
I went to work out a few days ago. Of course I had my iPod (except mine is called the Kevin NyePod) strapped to my lower bicep. It was in such a position that you could see it at the end of the sleeve of my shirt.
I tend to not use the "Hold" button on the Kevin NyePod because I like to leave it on shuffle and this affords me the ability to skip over tracks and change the volume, yada yada yada.
Sometimes I get into a groove and hit a string of songs that mesh together well and thus I don't skip around - makes sense. I like to listen to upbeat music while I'm working out and try to avoid slow songs.
I was sitting down on a bench between sets and just sort of zoning out and looking around. I glanced around and tried to see if I could decipher what album covers I could see on other folks' iPods. Now obviously, I should have been able to see them on everyone's because it's been proven that every college student who owns an iPod downloads exclusively from iTunes and pays the standard price to legally obtain digital music. [citation needed]
However, as I looked around I didn't see much so I went back to my workout.
I was facing hte mirror at this point, sitting down to do a shoulder press and on my second repetition I noticed something: I could see in the mirror that the NyePod was glowing.
Without the "Hold" button on, the pod had taken action and woken up due to the motion of my workout. The backlight went on, the album cover popped up, and it occurred to me what I was listening to...
"7 Things I Hate About You."I was 2 reps in; now I had to decide whether or not I should put the weight down and finish the set or just ignore it and act like I'm owning my embarassing moment.
Really, it didn't matter what I did...and it won't matter what you do if this happens to you.
Either way, you're a loser.
If you're wondering why I was listening to that song or how it got on the NyePod, you've obviously never heard the song.
Friday, March 20, 2009
This Could Get Weird
OK, fair warning. I'm writing this from bed at about 2:20 A.M.
One may think that this would be my preemptive apology for any misspellings or anything like that, but that's not why I added that disclaimer. The disclaimer is because there's a good chance I go crazy at some point during this post.
I'm really pretty sure I'm moving along that slippery slope.
There comes a point most nights where I give up on thinking clearly and try to just confuse myself to sleep, but that doesn't work.
I've been sleeping poorly for a solid year now, and I know I'm not the only one, so I'm not going to try making that claim. Almost every night I wake up once before 5 A.M. and it's usually before 4...so maybe I'll skip out on that tonight since it's so soon.
I have the habit of thinking about every single thing that bothers me in my life while I'm trying to relax and fall asleep. I know that's not helpful, but I can't help it. It's what I do.
Tonight's not really an exception. I'm not really sure what I'm tense about, but I am, and it blows.
Making matters worse is that I was incredibly tired for the majority of the day...until I committed to trying to sleep. Since that moment I've woken up more and more by the minute.
And I'm convinced that I'm about to snap.
I want to get up and lower my shoulder in a dead-sprint through my bedroom door.
I want to light a stuffed animal on fire and wonder through the flames about whether or not that makes me a damaged person.
I want to stand up and flex every muscle in my body, utter a guttural, primal scream and slam a hole through my closet doors.
Or I want to get some fucking sleep.
And the consequences?
I know it makes me irritable, I start to get rude. I don't feel like putting up with people, but then I feel rejected if they don't put up with me. It's not fair to me or them.
My emotions are heightened when they should be dulled down for the night.
How long will I ramble?
Doesn't matter, writing won't put me to sleep. I can only hope it clears the mind a little bit.
I feel the edge starting to wear off. So I'm done for now.
The brain is a fickle thing.
It really makes you wonder sometimes.
One may think that this would be my preemptive apology for any misspellings or anything like that, but that's not why I added that disclaimer. The disclaimer is because there's a good chance I go crazy at some point during this post.
I'm really pretty sure I'm moving along that slippery slope.
There comes a point most nights where I give up on thinking clearly and try to just confuse myself to sleep, but that doesn't work.
I've been sleeping poorly for a solid year now, and I know I'm not the only one, so I'm not going to try making that claim. Almost every night I wake up once before 5 A.M. and it's usually before 4...so maybe I'll skip out on that tonight since it's so soon.
I have the habit of thinking about every single thing that bothers me in my life while I'm trying to relax and fall asleep. I know that's not helpful, but I can't help it. It's what I do.
Tonight's not really an exception. I'm not really sure what I'm tense about, but I am, and it blows.
Making matters worse is that I was incredibly tired for the majority of the day...until I committed to trying to sleep. Since that moment I've woken up more and more by the minute.
And I'm convinced that I'm about to snap.
I want to get up and lower my shoulder in a dead-sprint through my bedroom door.
I want to light a stuffed animal on fire and wonder through the flames about whether or not that makes me a damaged person.
I want to stand up and flex every muscle in my body, utter a guttural, primal scream and slam a hole through my closet doors.
Or I want to get some fucking sleep.
And the consequences?
I know it makes me irritable, I start to get rude. I don't feel like putting up with people, but then I feel rejected if they don't put up with me. It's not fair to me or them.
My emotions are heightened when they should be dulled down for the night.
How long will I ramble?
Doesn't matter, writing won't put me to sleep. I can only hope it clears the mind a little bit.
I feel the edge starting to wear off. So I'm done for now.
The brain is a fickle thing.
It really makes you wonder sometimes.
Monday, February 09, 2009
Everything Sucks on this Programming Network
I've got to hand it to you ESPN, you've done it again.
The first time you lost me was when the Mitchell Report came out. Then it was when anyone went on trial. Then it was when anyone did anything stupid. Then it was the ultimate highlight tournament. Now it's Mount Rushmore. But somehow, it's also Alex Rodriguez too! I don't understand how you can literally show next to nothing on ESPN when you have about 6 networks. I remember when Dodgeball came out and everyone giggled at the idea of ESPN 8: the Ocho. But here we are with ESPN, ESPN 2, ESPN Classic, ESPNews, ESPNU, ESPN Plus, and ESPN on ABC (whatever the hell that means).
The most remarkable part is that if I were to turn on any of those channels today, I would hear about Alex Rodriguez taking steroids.
Wait a minute...there's a professional baseball player who took steroids in 2003 and won the MVP with outstanding numbers? What's that? 105 guys in the league tested positive that year? And there was no consequence to failing the test that year? So there's really nothing that can come of this other than blowing it out of proportion? He can't be reprimanded for this because IT WASN'T ILLEGAL AT THE TIME TO TEST POSITIVE FOR STEROIDS, SO WHO THE HELL CARES?
ESPN has managed to once again devote roughly 16 hours a day to a non-story. A guy who has gained 60 pounds of muscle in 10 years took steroids? He's a freaking body-builder at this point, and so is everyone else in the league. Furthermore, what ever happened to Sportscenter til 1, then obscure sports until about 4 or 5? Now Sportscenter goes until 3 P.M.! What the hell for? Especially because it gets followed up by a sport-specific highlight show!
So in conclusion, ESPN, I've fallen out of love with you. You used to make my day: every morning I'd get up and watch you for about three hours, making sure I knew the ins and outs of every highlight - because that's what made the show...highlights - and I loved it. Then you changed: now I have to sit through you talking to a correspondent from each major sport that's had a game played in the last 24 hours (Barry Melrose, Mel Kiper, Ed Werder, Buster Olney, and Tim Legler do not belong in the same hour of TV). You're not worth my time anymore, ESPN. You used to be cool...what happened?
It makes you wonder whose assholes ideas these were, doesn't it?
The first time you lost me was when the Mitchell Report came out. Then it was when anyone went on trial. Then it was when anyone did anything stupid. Then it was the ultimate highlight tournament. Now it's Mount Rushmore. But somehow, it's also Alex Rodriguez too! I don't understand how you can literally show next to nothing on ESPN when you have about 6 networks. I remember when Dodgeball came out and everyone giggled at the idea of ESPN 8: the Ocho. But here we are with ESPN, ESPN 2, ESPN Classic, ESPNews, ESPNU, ESPN Plus, and ESPN on ABC (whatever the hell that means).
The most remarkable part is that if I were to turn on any of those channels today, I would hear about Alex Rodriguez taking steroids.
Wait a minute...there's a professional baseball player who took steroids in 2003 and won the MVP with outstanding numbers? What's that? 105 guys in the league tested positive that year? And there was no consequence to failing the test that year? So there's really nothing that can come of this other than blowing it out of proportion? He can't be reprimanded for this because IT WASN'T ILLEGAL AT THE TIME TO TEST POSITIVE FOR STEROIDS, SO WHO THE HELL CARES?
ESPN has managed to once again devote roughly 16 hours a day to a non-story. A guy who has gained 60 pounds of muscle in 10 years took steroids? He's a freaking body-builder at this point, and so is everyone else in the league. Furthermore, what ever happened to Sportscenter til 1, then obscure sports until about 4 or 5? Now Sportscenter goes until 3 P.M.! What the hell for? Especially because it gets followed up by a sport-specific highlight show!
So in conclusion, ESPN, I've fallen out of love with you. You used to make my day: every morning I'd get up and watch you for about three hours, making sure I knew the ins and outs of every highlight - because that's what made the show...highlights - and I loved it. Then you changed: now I have to sit through you talking to a correspondent from each major sport that's had a game played in the last 24 hours (Barry Melrose, Mel Kiper, Ed Werder, Buster Olney, and Tim Legler do not belong in the same hour of TV). You're not worth my time anymore, ESPN. You used to be cool...what happened?
It makes you wonder whose assholes ideas these were, doesn't it?
Monday, February 02, 2009
The truth
Here's what it comes down to. For the majority of my football-loving life, I've been a Cleveland Browns fan. The sad truth is that I don't even care anymore.
I used to get mad at people who I'd deem fair-weather fans because I couldn't accept people not giving their time to a crappy team and then reaping the benefits when the team finally does succeed. The days of that are over, and here's why.
I don't care about the Cleveland Browns right now. I know that's easy to say because it's the off-season, but the point remains the same. Look at the facts: they've made the playoffs once since their return in 1999, and the 10-6 fruitless season of 2007 proved to be other winning season since the re-inception of the team.
The Browns are a product. If there's one universal fact about the sporting world, it's that these teams - and leagues - are businesses. The product which the Cleveland Browns are putting out is, let's face it, a really shitty product. When you don't score a touchdown for a month and get shut out by one of the other perennial losers, your product is terrible. Let's not overlook the fact that this product comes complete with one hour of commercials in your three hours of television: especially because the Browns had a habit of going 3-and-out roughly 8 times a game so there was about a minute and a half of football between 3-minute commercial sets.
THAT IS A TERRIBLE PRODUCT.
One more glance at the comedy of errors that the Browns have become shows that Sports Illustrated's senior writer Peter King (who is a retard) picked Cleveland as his sleeper pick for this past NFL season: the corner of the front-page of the September 8th issue of SI read "Keep an eye on the Cleveland Browns, Here's why, by Peter King." A hopeful article followed; with details of how the Browns were hoping to move into the playoff-contender stage after being so close the previous season.
King forgot something: the team sucks.
They have sucked for quite some time.
They will continue to suck.
And if they don't continue to suck, you can bet your ass that I'll jump back into being a fan.
And if you even try to get mad at me for that, think of it from a business sense: I'm investing my worthy-time in other places until they show me they're not an organization full of ass-clowns.
Makes you wonder how they can inspire such ridiculous emotions.
PS, kudos to the Steelers. There's your proof that I don't care about the Browns right now, I'm congratulating the Steelers for being the best franchise in the NFL. They're f'ing incredible.
I used to get mad at people who I'd deem fair-weather fans because I couldn't accept people not giving their time to a crappy team and then reaping the benefits when the team finally does succeed. The days of that are over, and here's why.
I don't care about the Cleveland Browns right now. I know that's easy to say because it's the off-season, but the point remains the same. Look at the facts: they've made the playoffs once since their return in 1999, and the 10-6 fruitless season of 2007 proved to be other winning season since the re-inception of the team.
The Browns are a product. If there's one universal fact about the sporting world, it's that these teams - and leagues - are businesses. The product which the Cleveland Browns are putting out is, let's face it, a really shitty product. When you don't score a touchdown for a month and get shut out by one of the other perennial losers, your product is terrible. Let's not overlook the fact that this product comes complete with one hour of commercials in your three hours of television: especially because the Browns had a habit of going 3-and-out roughly 8 times a game so there was about a minute and a half of football between 3-minute commercial sets.
THAT IS A TERRIBLE PRODUCT.
One more glance at the comedy of errors that the Browns have become shows that Sports Illustrated's senior writer Peter King (who is a retard) picked Cleveland as his sleeper pick for this past NFL season: the corner of the front-page of the September 8th issue of SI read "Keep an eye on the Cleveland Browns, Here's why, by Peter King." A hopeful article followed; with details of how the Browns were hoping to move into the playoff-contender stage after being so close the previous season.
King forgot something: the team sucks.
They have sucked for quite some time.
They will continue to suck.
And if they don't continue to suck, you can bet your ass that I'll jump back into being a fan.
And if you even try to get mad at me for that, think of it from a business sense: I'm investing my worthy-time in other places until they show me they're not an organization full of ass-clowns.
Makes you wonder how they can inspire such ridiculous emotions.
PS, kudos to the Steelers. There's your proof that I don't care about the Browns right now, I'm congratulating the Steelers for being the best franchise in the NFL. They're f'ing incredible.
Monday, November 17, 2008
Re-introduction
To the world, I'm reintroducing this blog in an entirely new light. In the past I was all about pretending to blog about sports because I love sports, but I've found myself musing an awful lot lately...so why not write these things down?
For instance: different people have thought capacities at different levels - it's hard to disagree. Some people are simply gifted and have the ability to think at a higher level than others...however, the truly gifted are the ones who have the ability to fluctuate between levels of thought, aren't they?
The point here is that being smart isn't enough: the real gift is being able to communicate to those who think beneath you. It's not easy, in fact, it's most likely one of the most nerve-wracking things one can do, but the dirty little secret is that those who are not as smart as yourself still play pivotal roles in your life. Whether they are the person selling you a house, the person you work for, or the person who tucks you in at night, they're a part of your life which you can't ignore.
It doesn't do any good to resent people who don't have a gift for higher thought, so why is it so nearly impossible to think in such a way?
...makes you wonder.
For instance: different people have thought capacities at different levels - it's hard to disagree. Some people are simply gifted and have the ability to think at a higher level than others...however, the truly gifted are the ones who have the ability to fluctuate between levels of thought, aren't they?
The point here is that being smart isn't enough: the real gift is being able to communicate to those who think beneath you. It's not easy, in fact, it's most likely one of the most nerve-wracking things one can do, but the dirty little secret is that those who are not as smart as yourself still play pivotal roles in your life. Whether they are the person selling you a house, the person you work for, or the person who tucks you in at night, they're a part of your life which you can't ignore.
It doesn't do any good to resent people who don't have a gift for higher thought, so why is it so nearly impossible to think in such a way?
...makes you wonder.
Monday, January 07, 2008
God to Ohio; "You're right."
In an incredibly rare press conference Sunday night, the eve of the BCS National Championship, God told the Associated Press "I really don't like Ohio."
Ohioans have speculated for decades that the Almighty was not a fan, due to the cruelty with which He's treated the local sports teams - a point driven home by the fact that He was wearing an LSU hat, Florida Gators long-sleeve shirt, Red Sox t-shirt, San Antonio Spurs warm-ups, a Steelers Super Bowl ring, and Air Jordans, circa 1989.
"It's not just the sports," added God, "when the weather hits Monday, you're gonna be pissed." Shortly after these comments were made, the predicted temperatures in Ohio jumped into the upper 60s for January 7th.
Pissed off resident Dale Munson is one of many who are not thrilled with the recent developments. "I've been telling people for years that God hates us. He always makes our teams lose, He makes sure there's continual construction on the freeways, and anytime the mega millions winner is from Ohio, He makes sure it's a douche-bag."
The Omniscient one had a pre-emptive response for Dale; "Seriously...just move somewhere else and it'll be fine," and with a smile, added "it's like you guys don't get it, I really am out to get you."
The timing couldn't be worse for Ohio State fans, as the state has been unduly tortured lately - what with two Buckeyes national championship losses ("You wouldn't believe the thoughts I heard after those!" said God), plus the Cavaliers losing in the NBA Finals ("That one was mean, My bad."), and the Indians' painful collapse in the ALCS this past year ("You guys were convinced you had it...great television right there."). The soon-to-be-played BCS title game, featuring the Buckeyes and LSU Tigers could merely be another chance to torture Ohio. "I've definitely toyed with the idea of screwing them again...I guess you'll just have to wait and see, won't you?"
He then added "but seriously, I already know who's gonna win."
Ohioans have speculated for decades that the Almighty was not a fan, due to the cruelty with which He's treated the local sports teams - a point driven home by the fact that He was wearing an LSU hat, Florida Gators long-sleeve shirt, Red Sox t-shirt, San Antonio Spurs warm-ups, a Steelers Super Bowl ring, and Air Jordans, circa 1989.
"It's not just the sports," added God, "when the weather hits Monday, you're gonna be pissed." Shortly after these comments were made, the predicted temperatures in Ohio jumped into the upper 60s for January 7th.
Pissed off resident Dale Munson is one of many who are not thrilled with the recent developments. "I've been telling people for years that God hates us. He always makes our teams lose, He makes sure there's continual construction on the freeways, and anytime the mega millions winner is from Ohio, He makes sure it's a douche-bag."
The Omniscient one had a pre-emptive response for Dale; "Seriously...just move somewhere else and it'll be fine," and with a smile, added "it's like you guys don't get it, I really am out to get you."
The timing couldn't be worse for Ohio State fans, as the state has been unduly tortured lately - what with two Buckeyes national championship losses ("You wouldn't believe the thoughts I heard after those!" said God), plus the Cavaliers losing in the NBA Finals ("That one was mean, My bad."), and the Indians' painful collapse in the ALCS this past year ("You guys were convinced you had it...great television right there."). The soon-to-be-played BCS title game, featuring the Buckeyes and LSU Tigers could merely be another chance to torture Ohio. "I've definitely toyed with the idea of screwing them again...I guess you'll just have to wait and see, won't you?"
He then added "but seriously, I already know who's gonna win."
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
One Play
Coke and I were just talking about one of the most outstanding plays we've ever seen - Lebron's dunk over Rasheed Wallace. Now, my thoughts on Rasheed Wallace are not the topic of this article - if they were, someone would bound to be offended.
This article is about a question: Can one play change the outcome of a series?
Logic says no. I mean, really, one play? It was 2 points, granted it was late in the game, and yes it got the crowd fired up, but did that one drive to the basket (and the thunderous right handed flush that followed) really do enough to legitimately twist the fate of these two ball-clubs? It's time once again for a little bit of a comparison session:
The "no" argument:
Cleveland still trails 2-1 in the series. The Cavaliers were at home where they're much more likely to win. Detroit's back-court didn't show up to play (not including Billups' 2 gorgeous shots in the final 4 minutes). Cleveland had gotten a few calls going their way earlier in the game (Sheed's phantom blocking foul on Marshall - probably a foul, but not much of one, Sheed almost had the right to whine about that one). Games 5 and 7 (if necessary) will be back in Detroit where we've lost both games. They're still Detroit and they still have 1 of the top 5 players in the Eastern Conference at every position.
The "yes" argument:
Disclaimer: the series has a long way to go, so there's not a legitimate argument here, it's all speculation. Lebron single-handedly brought any Detroit momentum to a screeching halt and swung it immeasurably onto our side with that dunk. Without that dunk, who's to say he has the confidence and the ultimately killer-instinct to drain both of his threes and pop that beauty of a game-killer. Detroit now has the fear of Bron in them, which is 2nd only to the fear of god. They're officially completely focused on him, especially now that Hughes is out, thus giving the rest of the team tons of opportunities to rip it up. And yes, I feel that the sole reason that they're completely scared of him is because of that one dunk - or at least as a result of that possession.
So there you have it. Pros, Cons, the ins and outs.
Cavs take it in 7.
This article is about a question: Can one play change the outcome of a series?
Logic says no. I mean, really, one play? It was 2 points, granted it was late in the game, and yes it got the crowd fired up, but did that one drive to the basket (and the thunderous right handed flush that followed) really do enough to legitimately twist the fate of these two ball-clubs? It's time once again for a little bit of a comparison session:
The "no" argument:
Cleveland still trails 2-1 in the series. The Cavaliers were at home where they're much more likely to win. Detroit's back-court didn't show up to play (not including Billups' 2 gorgeous shots in the final 4 minutes). Cleveland had gotten a few calls going their way earlier in the game (Sheed's phantom blocking foul on Marshall - probably a foul, but not much of one, Sheed almost had the right to whine about that one). Games 5 and 7 (if necessary) will be back in Detroit where we've lost both games. They're still Detroit and they still have 1 of the top 5 players in the Eastern Conference at every position.
The "yes" argument:
Disclaimer: the series has a long way to go, so there's not a legitimate argument here, it's all speculation. Lebron single-handedly brought any Detroit momentum to a screeching halt and swung it immeasurably onto our side with that dunk. Without that dunk, who's to say he has the confidence and the ultimately killer-instinct to drain both of his threes and pop that beauty of a game-killer. Detroit now has the fear of Bron in them, which is 2nd only to the fear of god. They're officially completely focused on him, especially now that Hughes is out, thus giving the rest of the team tons of opportunities to rip it up. And yes, I feel that the sole reason that they're completely scared of him is because of that one dunk - or at least as a result of that possession.
So there you have it. Pros, Cons, the ins and outs.
Cavs take it in 7.
Thursday, May 17, 2007
The Revival
When it comes to crunch time, I can't just sit back and not write about what's going on. That said, here's my analysis of things of late.
The Tribe is really good...seriously. Sabathia is enormous, and he's good at pitching, look for him as an AL Cy Young candidate with the seemingly perennial winner, Johan Santana.
Steve Nash is in my top 3 favorite players with Bron and Anderson Varejao. Except that, between you and me, Nash took a dive from Horry. Look at the size comparison between Nash and Horry; could Robert Horry ever knock Steve Nash down? I didn't think so. Exciting to see the Suns almost pull it out last night without those two guys; you know, Amare the overrated center who didn't deserve to be a first-team NBAer, and Boris the French guy with a decidedly Russian name (don't you remember Boris and Natasha from Rocky and Bullwinkle?).
As for the Cavaliers...their game 5 offensive set reminded me of a fish out of water except for the fact that dying fish flop around and move at least a little bit whereas the Cavs just stood around all night not doing much. The Cavs torched the Nets to the tune of a blistering hot 33% shooting night with only one player shooting over 50%, and that was Z going 6-8. Meanwhile, the Nets managed to go 1-15 from the field in the 4th quarter and we went ahead and decided not to make shots and come back. Infuriating, to say the least. The swagger needs to return a bit for game 6, but I'm still confident that we can take 1 of games 5, 6, and 7, and one's all you need. Meanwhile, best wishes to Lebron's baby's momma who is 8 months pregnant and needed to be hospitalized during game 5 - reportedly side-trackign Bron from the business at hand.
But I'm sick of talking about that disaster last night.
And my laptop battery is dying, so I can't really type a whole lot more.
We're pushing 3 weeks since the NFL draft and not a single Cleveland Browns player has suffered a potentially career-ending injury - let alone a season-ending one. So far, so good.
Nye.o.lator. out.
The Tribe is really good...seriously. Sabathia is enormous, and he's good at pitching, look for him as an AL Cy Young candidate with the seemingly perennial winner, Johan Santana.
Steve Nash is in my top 3 favorite players with Bron and Anderson Varejao. Except that, between you and me, Nash took a dive from Horry. Look at the size comparison between Nash and Horry; could Robert Horry ever knock Steve Nash down? I didn't think so. Exciting to see the Suns almost pull it out last night without those two guys; you know, Amare the overrated center who didn't deserve to be a first-team NBAer, and Boris the French guy with a decidedly Russian name (don't you remember Boris and Natasha from Rocky and Bullwinkle?).
As for the Cavaliers...their game 5 offensive set reminded me of a fish out of water except for the fact that dying fish flop around and move at least a little bit whereas the Cavs just stood around all night not doing much. The Cavs torched the Nets to the tune of a blistering hot 33% shooting night with only one player shooting over 50%, and that was Z going 6-8. Meanwhile, the Nets managed to go 1-15 from the field in the 4th quarter and we went ahead and decided not to make shots and come back. Infuriating, to say the least. The swagger needs to return a bit for game 6, but I'm still confident that we can take 1 of games 5, 6, and 7, and one's all you need. Meanwhile, best wishes to Lebron's baby's momma who is 8 months pregnant and needed to be hospitalized during game 5 - reportedly side-trackign Bron from the business at hand.
But I'm sick of talking about that disaster last night.
And my laptop battery is dying, so I can't really type a whole lot more.
We're pushing 3 weeks since the NFL draft and not a single Cleveland Browns player has suffered a potentially career-ending injury - let alone a season-ending one. So far, so good.
Nye.o.lator. out.
Sunday, April 15, 2007
Tribe
I am only writing this as a memo that the Cleveland Indians took over first place in the Central Division on April 15...I assume that tomorrow - since the Tribe has the day off - someone will again tie them for first, but I plan on us never looking back from this point forward.
good day.
good day.
Saturday, December 16, 2006
selfless promotion
of myself.
Coke and a few others have been so kind as to produce the first and only pirate newspaper: for pirates, by pirates, at http://30lashes.blogspot.com I'm a contributor for obvious reasons.
you should check this out, it's pretty awesome.
until next time I get a good idea,
adieu.
Coke and a few others have been so kind as to produce the first and only pirate newspaper: for pirates, by pirates, at http://30lashes.blogspot.com I'm a contributor for obvious reasons.
you should check this out, it's pretty awesome.
until next time I get a good idea,
adieu.
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
Philosophy of humor
I'm discussing humor with a couple people right now, and it's getting me thinking about life in general.
I like to think that without humor, we have nothing. Humor is the essence of life as we know it. What are we doing with our lives? Well, hopefully, we're being entertained by some form of humor.
If we don't have humor, what exactly do we have?
If we can't hear the sound of laughter, if we cant smile at something funny, if we can't smile because someone else is smiling at something funny, what the hell are we doing?
With this in mind, I'm dedicating my life to making people laugh. I've got about 4 minutes of stand-up material written (done in the last 24 hours) and I've got several ideas that need to be pared down.
To help prove this point, I'm going to be carrying out a lie in the near future that only a handful of people know about...and the whole point of this lie is because it's funny. If it doesn't harm anyone, and I (along with a few in the know) think it's funny, then how bad can it be, right?
I guess the point of all this is that I feel like laughter is the essence of life, and it's among my goals to simply make people laugh as often as I can.
That's my new goal in life...make people laugh.
I like to think that without humor, we have nothing. Humor is the essence of life as we know it. What are we doing with our lives? Well, hopefully, we're being entertained by some form of humor.
If we don't have humor, what exactly do we have?
If we can't hear the sound of laughter, if we cant smile at something funny, if we can't smile because someone else is smiling at something funny, what the hell are we doing?
With this in mind, I'm dedicating my life to making people laugh. I've got about 4 minutes of stand-up material written (done in the last 24 hours) and I've got several ideas that need to be pared down.
To help prove this point, I'm going to be carrying out a lie in the near future that only a handful of people know about...and the whole point of this lie is because it's funny. If it doesn't harm anyone, and I (along with a few in the know) think it's funny, then how bad can it be, right?
I guess the point of all this is that I feel like laughter is the essence of life, and it's among my goals to simply make people laugh as often as I can.
That's my new goal in life...make people laugh.
Monday, December 11, 2006
Strange
The past...iduno...2 weeks I've been pulling off the most consistently stupid thing a person can possibly do.
I've been actively putting off sleep to waste time being awake.
Why do we do this? Why would we avoid what's natural, logical, and altogether smart to do something completely useless? Why is it that I have made a habit out of talking to Ryan Beatty at roughly 2 a.m. because we're both too stupid to go to bed? Are your fingers the last part of your body to fall asleep? I mean, I'll sit here, my head is tilted so far off to the side that I can barely tell what I'm typing, eyes blurry, thinking about how tired I am...talking about how tired I am...and then I'll just go ahead and start youtubing videos of free running or america's funniest home videos or even less important crap. This, of course, in between ridiculous conversation with whoever is online. Take, for instance, the following conversation with beatty last night:
laskdkjfm: you ever start to think...sometimes when you are talkin to people online they are working themselves out
nyebergod: weird concept
nyebergod: cuz i've done it
nyebergod: i mean, not while talking to you
nyebergod: but i've been spankin one out and held a semi-conversation online
laskdkjfm: ye ive done it before
laskdkjfm: really bad convos
laskdkjfm: all one word answers
nyebergod: yeah, they're terrible
nyebergod: imagine getting busted via internet
laskdkjfm: haha
nyebergod: like, not really answering someone and having them be like "...are you jerkin off or somethin?"
laskdkjfm: hahahaha
nyebergod: i mean...i'd probably admit it, just cuz of how outrageous that'd be
laskdkjfm: ye it would
laskdkjfm: "actually im jackin off to lesbian midgets dressed at little aliens"
laskdkjfm: haha
nyebergod: haha
laskdkjfm: not like ive done that
nyebergod: definitely not
nyebergod: i havnet bookmarked "www.lesbianmidgetaliens.com"
We seriously had that conversation at 2:15 a.m. last night. And what's worse, is that it carried on for another half an hour or something so i didnt even end up going to bed til like 3. Why?
because I'm completely retarded.
Oh, by the way - it's standard practice for every conversation with anyone, ever, to include the phrase "...niccce." If you haven't seen this south park episode/clip, go here, now: http://youtube.com/watch?v=CkeCGwycsh8
if you didn't click that link, our friendship is over.
I've been actively putting off sleep to waste time being awake.
Why do we do this? Why would we avoid what's natural, logical, and altogether smart to do something completely useless? Why is it that I have made a habit out of talking to Ryan Beatty at roughly 2 a.m. because we're both too stupid to go to bed? Are your fingers the last part of your body to fall asleep? I mean, I'll sit here, my head is tilted so far off to the side that I can barely tell what I'm typing, eyes blurry, thinking about how tired I am...talking about how tired I am...and then I'll just go ahead and start youtubing videos of free running or america's funniest home videos or even less important crap. This, of course, in between ridiculous conversation with whoever is online. Take, for instance, the following conversation with beatty last night:
laskdkjfm: you ever start to think...sometimes when you are talkin to people online they are working themselves out
nyebergod: weird concept
nyebergod: cuz i've done it
nyebergod: i mean, not while talking to you
nyebergod: but i've been spankin one out and held a semi-conversation online
laskdkjfm: ye ive done it before
laskdkjfm: really bad convos
laskdkjfm: all one word answers
nyebergod: yeah, they're terrible
nyebergod: imagine getting busted via internet
laskdkjfm: haha
nyebergod: like, not really answering someone and having them be like "...are you jerkin off or somethin?"
laskdkjfm: hahahaha
nyebergod: i mean...i'd probably admit it, just cuz of how outrageous that'd be
laskdkjfm: ye it would
laskdkjfm: "actually im jackin off to lesbian midgets dressed at little aliens"
laskdkjfm: haha
nyebergod: haha
laskdkjfm: not like ive done that
nyebergod: definitely not
nyebergod: i havnet bookmarked "www.lesbianmidgetaliens.com"
We seriously had that conversation at 2:15 a.m. last night. And what's worse, is that it carried on for another half an hour or something so i didnt even end up going to bed til like 3. Why?
because I'm completely retarded.
Oh, by the way - it's standard practice for every conversation with anyone, ever, to include the phrase "...niccce." If you haven't seen this south park episode/clip, go here, now: http://youtube.com/watch?v=CkeCGwycsh8
if you didn't click that link, our friendship is over.
Monday, December 04, 2006
Ramble
I have nothing on the top of my head about what to write, I just feel like I should write something.
I'm pretty pissed off that Fox Sports never wrote me back after my angry letter to those bums. Obviously, since I'm home in snowy Chesterland, it's not an issue about seeing the Cavaliers play.
Speaking of snow, we got hit with about 6 inches of the fluffy white stuff last night...I haven't seen this much powder since I hung out with Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown. Ba-zing!
Brown? like the Cleveland Browns? the team who actually won a game Sunday? Man...I did not see that comin. We actually looked like a football team - who knew? This might seal the deal that I was wrong about my bet that we'd lose more players for the season than wins we'd have in the season; at 4-8 with 3 starters out, I think I just lost. Needless to say, I don't mind.
I might just start freestylin for kicks. Like when I'm out Christmas shopping I'm gonna record a beat on my phone then just walk up to people, press play and like "yo...bitch...yo....yo...I'm Christmas shoppin and poppin while you stoppin and watchin as I break your will with my looks that kill. You buyin presents for your moms as I chill and drop bombs about buyin some hoodies and fillin stocking with goodies for your little brother...by the way - I forgot to thank your mother." and then I'd have someone with to go start jumpin up and down goin "OHHHHH SHIT...THAT'S HOT!" and stuff like that.
Yeah...Kevin Nye, the Christmas freestyler. Comin to a mall near you, Christmas season '06*.
That's all I got right now, Cavaliers need to crack down. Brownies actually won. Tribe made some ridiculous signing of some guy with an Italian name...we all know how good Italians are at baseball. Seriously - name one Italian born MLB player, I dare you.
ok I'm done.
* the mall near you, assuming that you're near the Great Lakes Mall in Mentor, Ohio.
I'm pretty pissed off that Fox Sports never wrote me back after my angry letter to those bums. Obviously, since I'm home in snowy Chesterland, it's not an issue about seeing the Cavaliers play.
Speaking of snow, we got hit with about 6 inches of the fluffy white stuff last night...I haven't seen this much powder since I hung out with Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown. Ba-zing!
Brown? like the Cleveland Browns? the team who actually won a game Sunday? Man...I did not see that comin. We actually looked like a football team - who knew? This might seal the deal that I was wrong about my bet that we'd lose more players for the season than wins we'd have in the season; at 4-8 with 3 starters out, I think I just lost. Needless to say, I don't mind.
I might just start freestylin for kicks. Like when I'm out Christmas shopping I'm gonna record a beat on my phone then just walk up to people, press play and like "yo...bitch...yo....yo...I'm Christmas shoppin and poppin while you stoppin and watchin as I break your will with my looks that kill. You buyin presents for your moms as I chill and drop bombs about buyin some hoodies and fillin stocking with goodies for your little brother...by the way - I forgot to thank your mother." and then I'd have someone with to go start jumpin up and down goin "OHHHHH SHIT...THAT'S HOT!" and stuff like that.
Yeah...Kevin Nye, the Christmas freestyler. Comin to a mall near you, Christmas season '06*.
That's all I got right now, Cavaliers need to crack down. Brownies actually won. Tribe made some ridiculous signing of some guy with an Italian name...we all know how good Italians are at baseball. Seriously - name one Italian born MLB player, I dare you.
ok I'm done.
* the mall near you, assuming that you're near the Great Lakes Mall in Mentor, Ohio.
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
COLLEGE FREAKING BASKETBALL
I love college basketball.
I could end the post right there, because from this point I'm just gonna ramble on that topic.
I'm gonna ramble like Seth McFarlane when he runs out of ideas.
Anyway, I watched the majority of the UNC/OSU game tonight, and it has led me to believe that UNC has "it." There are routine studies to find out what exactly "it" is, but I'm pretty sure that UNC has whatever that thing happens to be. Having said that, OSU's good too - Greg Oden should be interesting to see in action. There's a lot of factors - as proven by things like Amare Stoudemire coming back into the Suns' lineup last year, you don't just come back and instantly help the team out and be a star player...there's chemistry issues, there's physical issues, etc. However, that guy's huge - and according to your mother, size matters.
In other college basketball news, I believe I have a sweet 16 to pick....so without further ado, I bring you Kevin Nye's end-of-November Sweet 16 projections:
1. North Carolina - Hansbrough and co. have enough to get them into the 3rd ring of the tourney...however, might not have the size to make it to the finals.
2. Georgetown - Hibbert owns the inside, case closed.
3. OSU - yeah...don't really know what else to say.
4. Florida - This is a no-brainer. All 5 returning from the defending champs.
5. Kansas - Just pulled off a wild win vs. Florida a few days ago, proving that they've got the talent. However, Kansas always loses early, so keep an eye on that one.
6. Nevada - Nick Fazekas is too good to be stopped before the sweet 16...he's about to win his 3rd straight conference player of the year.
7. Arizona - Lute Olsen's got a hell of a crew in there, Chase Budinger is 6'7 with a 42" vertical...that's sick (he was also national high school volleyball player of the year...imagine his intramural team, eh? oh yeah, and he averaged 34 points and 11 boards a game in high shcool...nasty).
8. UConn - Jim Calhoun gets it done with zero returning starters.
9. Texas - This is actually a surprise pick since Texas is also returning zero starters. But Kevin Durant will win big 12 player of the year - write that down...oh...I guess I already did. nevermind.
10. UCLA - I'm not entirely sold on them, but they did make the final 4 last year, and I don't know much about the PAC-10, but they get the nod here.
11. LSU/Alabama - I know, I'm cheating by picking 2 teams...but it's only because I'm not sold on either of these teams...but they're very highly rated, and Alabama's returning 4 starters...building on last year's 2nd round exit...LSU obviously had the final 4. But still, I think Big Baby is too trimmed down and he'll get eaten up inside...and they'll just not be that good.
12. Wichita State - can't exclude the Shockers for 2 reasons; 1 is that they beat tennessee as a 15 seed last year and are coming back with 4 out of their 5, and 2 is that their freaking name is the shockers.
13. Syrause - No McNamara, no problem, I say. Their other 4 are back and they have a sick frosh...and that pesky 2-3 they run is damn near perfect when Jim Boeheim gets a hold of them.
14. Southern Illinois - Salukis reppin' the MVC....biatch.
15. San Diego State - Aztec love mothafuckaz. Got the probably mountain west winners in here.
16. Gonzaga - Chuck helped this pick. I hated Morrison, but I like Raivio, Josh Heytvelt is pretty solid in the post, and Altidor-Cespedes was the sneaky stud on that team last year...so what the hell, Prueter gets the call.
That's it brothers and sisters. Those are my sweet 16 picks.
Obviously, since I can only pick about 11 out of 16 correctly when I have the list of the 32 available teams in front of me, I don't expect to get more than about 8 of these correct. Oh well, such is life. I figure 8 right is about as good as 8 wrong.
I'm talkin more nonsense than a Vietnamese prostitute on a military camp, I gotta stop.
Come on Cavs...let's get it back together.
Browns? you're almost dead to me...but like a dead family member, I still love ya.
sigh.
I could end the post right there, because from this point I'm just gonna ramble on that topic.
I'm gonna ramble like Seth McFarlane when he runs out of ideas.
Anyway, I watched the majority of the UNC/OSU game tonight, and it has led me to believe that UNC has "it." There are routine studies to find out what exactly "it" is, but I'm pretty sure that UNC has whatever that thing happens to be. Having said that, OSU's good too - Greg Oden should be interesting to see in action. There's a lot of factors - as proven by things like Amare Stoudemire coming back into the Suns' lineup last year, you don't just come back and instantly help the team out and be a star player...there's chemistry issues, there's physical issues, etc. However, that guy's huge - and according to your mother, size matters.
In other college basketball news, I believe I have a sweet 16 to pick....so without further ado, I bring you Kevin Nye's end-of-November Sweet 16 projections:
1. North Carolina - Hansbrough and co. have enough to get them into the 3rd ring of the tourney...however, might not have the size to make it to the finals.
2. Georgetown - Hibbert owns the inside, case closed.
3. OSU - yeah...don't really know what else to say.
4. Florida - This is a no-brainer. All 5 returning from the defending champs.
5. Kansas - Just pulled off a wild win vs. Florida a few days ago, proving that they've got the talent. However, Kansas always loses early, so keep an eye on that one.
6. Nevada - Nick Fazekas is too good to be stopped before the sweet 16...he's about to win his 3rd straight conference player of the year.
7. Arizona - Lute Olsen's got a hell of a crew in there, Chase Budinger is 6'7 with a 42" vertical...that's sick (he was also national high school volleyball player of the year...imagine his intramural team, eh? oh yeah, and he averaged 34 points and 11 boards a game in high shcool...nasty).
8. UConn - Jim Calhoun gets it done with zero returning starters.
9. Texas - This is actually a surprise pick since Texas is also returning zero starters. But Kevin Durant will win big 12 player of the year - write that down...oh...I guess I already did. nevermind.
10. UCLA - I'm not entirely sold on them, but they did make the final 4 last year, and I don't know much about the PAC-10, but they get the nod here.
11. LSU/Alabama - I know, I'm cheating by picking 2 teams...but it's only because I'm not sold on either of these teams...but they're very highly rated, and Alabama's returning 4 starters...building on last year's 2nd round exit...LSU obviously had the final 4. But still, I think Big Baby is too trimmed down and he'll get eaten up inside...and they'll just not be that good.
12. Wichita State - can't exclude the Shockers for 2 reasons; 1 is that they beat tennessee as a 15 seed last year and are coming back with 4 out of their 5, and 2 is that their freaking name is the shockers.
13. Syrause - No McNamara, no problem, I say. Their other 4 are back and they have a sick frosh...and that pesky 2-3 they run is damn near perfect when Jim Boeheim gets a hold of them.
14. Southern Illinois - Salukis reppin' the MVC....biatch.
15. San Diego State - Aztec love mothafuckaz. Got the probably mountain west winners in here.
16. Gonzaga - Chuck helped this pick. I hated Morrison, but I like Raivio, Josh Heytvelt is pretty solid in the post, and Altidor-Cespedes was the sneaky stud on that team last year...so what the hell, Prueter gets the call.
That's it brothers and sisters. Those are my sweet 16 picks.
Obviously, since I can only pick about 11 out of 16 correctly when I have the list of the 32 available teams in front of me, I don't expect to get more than about 8 of these correct. Oh well, such is life. I figure 8 right is about as good as 8 wrong.
I'm talkin more nonsense than a Vietnamese prostitute on a military camp, I gotta stop.
Come on Cavs...let's get it back together.
Browns? you're almost dead to me...but like a dead family member, I still love ya.
sigh.
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