This Could Get Weird

OK, fair warning. I'm writing this from bed at about 2:20 A.M.
One may think that this would be my preemptive apology for any misspellings or anything like that, but that's not why I added that disclaimer. The disclaimer is because there's a good chance I go crazy at some point during this post.
I'm really pretty sure I'm moving along that slippery slope.
There comes a point most nights where I give up on thinking clearly and try to just confuse myself to sleep, but that doesn't work.
I've been sleeping poorly for a solid year now, and I know I'm not the only one, so I'm not going to try making that claim. Almost every night I wake up once before 5 A.M. and it's usually before 4...so maybe I'll skip out on that tonight since it's so soon.
I have the habit of thinking about every single thing that bothers me in my life while I'm trying to relax and fall asleep. I know that's not helpful, but I can't help it. It's what I do.
Tonight's not really an exception. I'm not really sure what I'm tense about, but I am, and it blows.
Making matters worse is that I was incredibly tired for the majority of the day...until I committed to trying to sleep. Since that moment I've woken up more and more by the minute.
And I'm convinced that I'm about to snap.
I want to get up and lower my shoulder in a dead-sprint through my bedroom door.
I want to light a stuffed animal on fire and wonder through the flames about whether or not that makes me a damaged person.
I want to stand up and flex every muscle in my body, utter a guttural, primal scream and slam a hole through my closet doors.
Or I want to get some fucking sleep.

And the consequences?
I know it makes me irritable, I start to get rude. I don't feel like putting up with people, but then I feel rejected if they don't put up with me. It's not fair to me or them.
My emotions are heightened when they should be dulled down for the night.
How long will I ramble?
Doesn't matter, writing won't put me to sleep. I can only hope it clears the mind a little bit.
I feel the edge starting to wear off. So I'm done for now.
The brain is a fickle thing.
It really makes you wonder sometimes.